I read this article and it made me ponder for a moment. In Islam, a husband is not required to give you a wedding ring, let alone a diamond (almas) one. But he can give you a ring for many reasons. One reason is that he doesn’t want you to feel cheated if you live in a western culture where it’s common practice. Another reason could be that the ring is your wedding gift as it’s pricy. And because you don’t have a price, a diamond is the closest thing he can come close to, to make you feel special. Now, I have an advice for you single sisters. If a man no matter how honest and good he is, can get away with not paying your dowry, legalize your union on paper (by that I mean a recognized marriage license by the court), he will! If he ‘promises’ you a ring after you’re married, please don’t go for it. Get him to buy the ring before you move in with him. Once you’re inside his house, you’re HIS. And he won’t see the importance of such a trinket in your eyes. You will find yourself chasingafter him for the rest of your life to honor his ring promise. Trust me on this. Some will honor that promise after a considerable amount of nagging on your part while others will never fulfil that promise and will wake up between the thieves on judgment day if they never paid you your rightful dowry.
Anyways, diamonds are appraised by the Cut, the Color, the Clarity, and the Carat.
If you received a diamond, you’ll quickly learn about that last part or ‘C’; the Carat weigh.
If you didn’t receive one, don’t despair, you can still have the four C’s. You’ll probably laugh and say how can I have the 4 C’s without possessing a diamond ring you weirdo?
I’ll laugh and say, ‘You can by creating four letter C words that you will watch for in your marriage to make it successful.’ Let’s face it, a diamond is not a guarantee of a happy life. And if you’re like me, you wear your ring to discourage pretendants, show that you’re married. As for you, it’s a symbol of what must appear. You don’t wear it to enter into a context of showoff about whose got the biggest rock.
If you want one and he didn’t give you one or never upheld his part of the bargain, sister, just buy yourself a damn ring and be happy about it. They are many good and decent rings these days everyone can afford. They even have a science on how much of your man’s income is supposed to go to the ring. I’m going to tell you this, don’t encourage him to buy a rock that you’ll have to pay off for the rest of your life! Besides there is more barakain less pompous and extravagant affairs and you’ll attract less evil eye that way.
Now, my Four C’s are: Communication, Creativity, Care, Commitment. And it only took me a few minutes to recognize that they were.
To be a happy wife, I make sure to communicate my needs to the hubby. Strive to make your line of communication open and you’ll have one C in your relationship down.
A marriage becomes stale if creativity isn’t in the mix. Don’t let that happen to your relationship. Find ways to spend quality times together and enjoy life as couple. This will make you feel accomplished and fulfilled.
Care for each other for the sake of Allah. The bond just grows deeper from there.
Be committed to your marriage life as it’s half of your deen. Life in marriage is rewarding if you’re committed on making it work.
You may have different C’s than these ones. Just keep your eyes on jannah al-firdaws uktys as you draft yours. May Allah always bless us and our marriages with love, understanding, good communication, and strong commitment, ameen.
Jazak’Allah khair for reading.
Originally published in Hayatimagazine.com
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